Surplus Spatula Supplier Unlocks Secret to Business Immortality: Endless Military Contracts”

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Written By evan

Head untalented writer, slightly below-average intelligence, with a knack for making up stories that are not at all true.

In a revelation that’s flipping the business world on its head, local surplus spatula supplier, FlipTech, has unlocked the secret to unending profit: military recurring income.

CEO Patty Turner, first started selling her sturdy spatulas to local restaurants but soon found a far more lucrative market: the military industrial food complex. Now, she’s managed to keep her business afloat, one army-grade spatula at a time.

“The military needs spatulas. Lots of them. Every mess hall, every field kitchen, every MRE – they all need spatulas. And who are we to deny them the very best, and extremely overpriced, in flipping technology?”

Patty Turner, CEO of FlipTech

In a stroke of genius, FlipTech locked down a long-term $200,000,000 contract to provide spatulas to the military. With each passing year, regardless of economic highs and lows, the military’s demand for spatulas remains consistent.

Critics have questioned the necessity of high-grade, tactical spatulas, especially ones that each go for $500. To them, Patty simply responds, “Have you ever tried flipping a pancake in a combat zone? I didn’t think so.”

Economists are calling it the “FlipTech Model”: finding a niche need in the military and exploiting it for a steady, recurring income. Patty calls it “making dough by flipping it.” Patty also ads to her critics, “if you don’t like it, you can flip right off mother flipper.”

As FlipTech continues to thrive, other businesses are looking to follow suit. There have been reports of companies developing tactical toothpicks, strategic straws, and even ballistic bread bins. As Patty has shown, when it comes to the military, there’s no such thing as a niche too small.

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