Latest AI Detection Software Reveals Shocking Truth: Declaration of Independence Penned by 18th Century Chatbot

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Written By evan

Head untalented writer, slightly below-average intelligence, with a knack for making up stories that are not at all true.

In a twist that has historians, scientists, and conspiracy theorists alike reeling, new AI detection software has just revealed a startling truth: The Declaration of Independence was, in fact, written by a sophisticated 18th century automaton.

The cutting-edge software, aptly named “DeepPast,” was designed to analyze historical documents and determine their likely author based on linguistic patterns.

When researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technotronics ran the Declaration of Independence through DeepPast, they expected to confirm Thomas Jefferson as the author. What they did not expect was a result reading: “Author Identified – Babbage-1776 Proto-Typewriter.”

“I nearly spit out my coffee.”

Dr. Turing Lovelace, lead researcher.

“We’d accidentally discovered that America’s founding document was penned by a quill-wielding robot!”

The Babbage-1776 Proto-Typewriter, according to Dr. Lovelace, was an early attempt at artificial intelligence created by a hitherto unknown ancestor of Charles Babbage, the famed 19th-century inventor known as the “father of the computer.”

“Apparently, the Babbage genius for computation goes back farther than we thought,” said Lovelace. “Far enough to draft the blueprint for a new nation, it seems.”

Critics argue that the theory is absurd, pointing out minor issues like the complete lack of evidence for 18th-century AI. However, supporters of the Babbage-1776 theory maintain that the sophisticated language and forward-thinking ideas in the Declaration are “totally something a robot would write.”

As the debate rages on, the DeepPast team plans to analyze other historical documents, such as the Magna Carta, the Constitution, and the lyrics to “American Pie.” After all, who knows what other historical figures might turn out to be robots?

Meanwhile, Nicolas Cage has reportedly been spotted near the National Archives, muttering something about needing to steal the Declaration again. More on this as it develops.

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